Slaughter the Lamb of God

If you don’t know who Randy Blythe is, you have a good life. For those who don’t know, Blythe is the lead singer for the “rock band” Lamb of God. They originally spawned from Richmond, which is cause enough for one to question their mental capabilities. Now a Czech criminal psychologist is saying that Blythe is mentally defective. He has trouble controlling his pissy little kid emotions. Most people in Virginia do. It’s a whole state filled with people who weren’t locked in the closet enough as kids.

Another thing about Randy Blythe is that, despite his deep-voice singing on stage, he has a girl’s voice in real life. Just look at the interview video at the end of this entry. If you watch interviews with his wife, you’ll see that she has a deeper voice than he does. I wonder who is in control in the bedroom, considering she is more of a man than he is. Speaking of his voice, his singing sounds like someone straining to take a dump. Of course, he is so skinny he looks like he hasn’t had a good dump in years.

And what is with that thing on his face? No, not his god awful hipster glasses. I mean that “soul patch.” Does he fuck his smelly looking wife with that? Does she like it or something? Or is that the only big boy hair he can grow on his face? If it wasn’t for music, he wouldn’t have a wife. I mean come on, he looks like a pee-encrusted muppet that someone found in a dumpster. No normal woman would date him. Then again, Richmond doesn’t have normal women. Hey lady, you know that your rock star husband is probably fucking tons of other women on tour right?

Going back to the interview below, you’ll notice how he mentions that he deleted his Twitter account because it got “stupid” and it made him lose faith in humanity. He described his Twitter followers, his own fans, as engaging in “mass idiocy.” That is what he thinks of you! All of you who have supported him and spent your hard earned money on his shitty CDs. He thinks you are “idiots.” He is right, but he still shouldn’t talk about his fans that way. He also said you all “depleted his brain cells.” He looks to me like he had no brain cells to begin with. They all died when he soaked his hair in cat urine or whatever he used.  A white guy with dreadlocks, lice, and a nerd watch on his limp wrist (accompanied by a ton of abstinence bracelets) calling other people idiots. Now that is like shit telling puke that it stinks. You know what makes me lose faith in humanity? A man with 100 Mickey Mouse tattoos like Randy. I mean come on, his hair is bigger than his head! Did he have to check that as carry-on luggage when he flew? Perhaps he is too dumb to notice his hair. Then again, he looks like a deformed goat with short hair so maybe that was his attempt at looking normal.

I know the Czechs aren’t threatening him with a death sentence, but I hope they give it to him. I hope they kill him. I hope they cut his empty head off (both of them). I hope they stick his balls in his decapitated head’s mouth and ship his dead carcass back to Richmond. He probably should have been embalmed years ago since he looks like he already smells worse than death. I hope they dump his body right on Monument Avenue for all the hipsters, punks, old ass men, and other shitheads to see. That should be their fate too.

If this upsets you, remember that he thinks you are idiots. While I’m at it, Czechs are smarter than Americans.